thoughts for the night

Have you ever just felt like being quiet? Just letting your thoughts bumb-tumble around for a little while?

That's how I feel this afternoon. Sometimes it's nice. The peaceful quiet of it all.  Have you ever noticed that God often does amazing work with silence... too often people think that God only (and should only) work in these big, amazingly, flashy ways. But many times, (at least for me) it's the silent moments that he uses to shape us.

Sadly, since my thoughts are all rumbling around in my head, you will get to read a jibber-jabbery blog that will somewhat resemble the beautiful chaos that had currently taken up residence in my mind.

By no means did I start the day off this way. I talked the guys ears off about my cats. I packed boxes, entered information, etc. etc. and all while an ease that only comes from starting the day off with sleep, prayers, happy thoughts, warm tea, and beautiful weather.

After work, I headed off to church to the first meeting of our Bible Study group.

Have you ever heard that one thing you should never, ever do, is to pray for patience?
I have.
I first heard it from my youth leader in high school. Now, in all reality, of COURSE we should pray for patience. There is nothing wrong with praying for patience. But, unfortunately, there are two problems with this: First, (More often than not, sadly.) we misunderstand what we're praying for, who we are, and to whom we're praying. Second, there is only one way to gain patience.
My youth leader prayed for patience and I heard about the aftermath of that fateful prayer.
Of course, being curious - I tried it myself. Of course, God gave me plenty of opportunity to exercise my wimpy, scrawny little patience muscle.
Through the years, I have learned that praying for ANY of those wonderful "fruits of the spirit" is a bad idea. It's a wonderful idea, it just happens to be a lot like exercise. Painful, frustrating exercise. Now, granted, it's very much needed and it's all worth it in the end... but lets face it: I hate exercise.

Tonight, Beth Moore was praying and she pretty much said (and I'm going to paraphrase here) "Hit me with it, God" and all I could think was "Woman, do you KNOW what you're praying for?!?!" I'm sure she does. I'm sure I know what I'm asking for. I'm sure I know what I'll get. The results are always worth it. God has a way of shaking things up, breaking things down, and building things back up in such a drastic way. Going through it can often be painful. Looking back at it can be beyond amazing - the story, picture, and the refined vessel - beyond beautiful.
Yes, I guess that I too, want God to (Lord Jesus, help me as I type these next few words... be gentle... please...) "Hit me with it."