Some thoughts... and an Invitation.

There is this story that I’ve heard a few pastors tell, it goes a little something like this:

There was this couple. They had this nice old car – you know, the kind with the bench seat up front – and when they were young, the woman would slide on in and snuggle right up next to her man - and that’s how they rode everywhere. As time wore on, she ended up more in the passenger’s seat than the middle. One day, she notices it and immediately and agitatedly (Is that even a word?) calls it to the attention of her man. “Why don’t you hug me up like you used to? Why don’t we ever ride close like when we were young and dating??” Her husband looks over at her and says: “Don’t ask me! I haven’t moved!”

It’s a cute and funny story, but humor me and follow me with this one: How much is this like our relationship with God?! (Personally and as the Bride of Christ.) Be honest with yourself for a moment and think about it. How many times have you wondered, “God, all those people in the Bible have pretty amazing stories – and you moved in all of these amazing ways – why don’t you do that now? Why don’t you use me like you used them? Why do revivals happen other places but not here?” Why, why, why?? The list can go on and on. If you’re like me, you don’t need me to come up with a list of example questions. You probably have a list of your own. But, what if it’s similar to the story above?
God doesn’t change. The God who is God today, has always been God and always will be God. He is the same and always will be the same. Though the world and people around us may change, God does not change. He is the same God who is in the Old Testament. Our God today is the exact same God who poured out His Spirit at Pentecost. Now, I’m not saying that we don’t all experience Him in different ways. Our relationships with Him are on a personal level – He’s going to connect with us on a personal level that speaks to us as individuals.  What I’m saying is, what if we’re just not putting ourselves in the position to receive a blessing? What if we’re in the car with Him, but we’re just way over there in the passenger’s seat staring out the window? It’s not that He can’t act like that anymore – He can. It’s not that He doesn’t want to still do all of those amazing things and have great, interacting relationships with us – He does. It’s the fact that maybe we’re over here acting like we don’t want Him to do any of it. God loves us all lavishly – but He isn’t going to force Himself on anybody.  He loves us so much that we’ve got a choice in the matter. What if we would put ourselves in a position to be blessed? What would happen if we just scooted right on over, real close? You know, where He didn’t have to reach across the seat to hold our hand, but we put ourselves in a position for Him to put His arm around us? To put ourselves in a place to just enjoy Him, His presence, and being close to Him? We have that option, you know.  

Okay, so… We’re starting a regular Tuesday night women’s Bible Study. Women of all ages, races, and denominations are welcome! It will be from 6:00-8:00pm at the Grassy Pond Family Life Center. (Big shout out to the peeps at G.P.!) (Don’t worry if you can’t get there right at 6:00! From 6:00 to 6:30, we’re just coming to take our time, talk, grab a cup of coffee (or tea!) and get settled!) First up: we’re starting Seamless by Angie Smith. It’s an easy study! (Know a lot about the Bible? Great! You’ll love it! Know a little about the Bible? Great! You’ll love it! Know nothing about the Bible? Great! You’ll love it! Just want to get away from your Husband, Kids, Parents, Schoolwork, Work, or whatever for a little bit? Great! You’ll love it!) The homework (Yeah, there’s a little of that – not bad – I promise!) is short and the video sessions are about 15 minutes in length. Bonus – All of the books have already been provided! So, no worries as to whether you can afford one or not – they're free! If you can, just send me a message and let me know you’d like a book with your name on it! (If you can’t – no worries – we’ll have extras!) 

And I just want to make sure all you ladies understand: We want YOU. Yes, YOU. (You know, the one reading this.) Maybe you don’t know us that well… We don’t care. We’d love to get to know you! Maybe you’re not sure if you’d fit in… We’re all sisters here. He loves us and so we all have something in common. Maybe you’re like: But I’m not a member of Grassy Pond… Well, this isn’t a Grassy Pond thing. This is a women who love Jesus thing. (Or even a women who just want to know more about Jesus thing.) So come on! Grab a cup coffee or tea, a snack (we might have a couple of those!), and an ink pen and let’s see what God has to say to us – because He still speaks!  

Really hope to see you there, my friend! 

{EDIT: In my excitement, I may have forgotten to mention the date... (Okay, I totally did.) Anyway, we start the first Tuesday in August!}

True Beauty

I love beautiful things. Don’t you? Not many people want to go around looking at ugly things, so I imagine that you, at the very least, appreciate the pretty things in life.

A lot of things in life are beautiful. Today though, we’re going to narrow down the beautiful spectrum to people – Women, in particular. I’m a woman, so I feel this is relevant. Also, compared to our male companions, it’s a bigger deal for us.

I married a man that I think has a highly attractive face. I like his face a lot. And yes, I checked out his baby pictures as soon as I could.  (He’s been a stud since day 1.) It comes naturally to him. He just wakes up appealing.  (On a random tangent: I’m a bit of a vain bird, and I always told my friends that one should never marry a man that she thought had an ugly face. They always laughed at me. My theory was that looks are, to a degree, actually important. I figured that body shapes and weight can change over the years, so you should probably judge attractiveness by the face. After all, you’re going to have to wake up and look at that face every morning, and chances are, it’s going to be the last face you look at every night. In which case, you best like the face you’re looking at. If God decides to bless you with children, chances are pretty high that their little faces will look a lot like the face you married. So, you best like the face you married. Whether anyone else in the world thinks so or not, you need to like said face.) It takes dear husband 10 minutes to get ready for work every morning. On Sunday’s it takes him 15 minutes to get ready. No one notices if it took him 5 minutes or if it took him 15 minutes to get ready. The time taken doesn’t make him more or less attractive. It just means that he wears a nicer shirt and pants. And age does not affect the attractiveness or the getting-ready-to-see-people routine.

Me, on the other hand…

If I only took 5 minutes, if I only just threw on the clothes I had picked out for the day, if I just brushed my teeth and headed out the door… ouch. Within a few minutes of seeing people, someone would ask: “Are you feeling okay today?” And someone, somewhere, would be whispering: “Bless her heart.” I have to follow the standards set around me, even if it's at a minimum. Here in the ol’ U.S. of A. (God bless America.) we have certain ideas of feminine beauty and what we should do and look like before we present ourselves to the world every day. I have always, always, always wanted to be beautiful, so I attempt so follow the rules. But I keep falling short. My hair wasn’t the right color or texture. I have freckles. I’m too skinny. (Contrary to popular thinking, no one wants “skinny” they want Curvy-Yet-Thin.) For years, I have beat myself up about the fact that even when I tried to follow all of the beauty rules, I just wasn’t pretty. But you know what, while it wasn’t a good thing to think, it was okay because I didn’t really have anyone following me around, watching my every move, and copying everything single thing that I do. If I wanted to try too hard, okay. If I wanted to bum it, okay. If I wanted to just feel bad about myself and talk about how ugly I thought I was, no biggie. I’m only downing myself and killing my own self esteem. Now-a-days, I have a miniature person that follows me around. Anything I do, she does. ANYTHING. And you know what? She looks an awful lot like me. (Granted, I think she’s the most gorgeous little person to ever walk this planet.) That brown hair I’ve hated all my life, she has it. Those brown eyes I had always wished were blue? Yep, she’s got those too. And it’s looking like freckles and being a skinny Minnie is just going to be a part of the package deal. (Sorry honey, no curves for you!) I can’t hate my looks anymore. If I hate my looks, then it’s hating her looks. If I put down my looks, I put down her looks. If I wish I looked different, then I wish she looked different.  If I tell her I look horrible, I tell her I she looks horrible. For her sake, I’m having to learn to love me.

I think God did it on purpose.

On my journey, I’m learning some things about beauty.

1 – Clean is beautiful.  It really is!

2 – Not every person, not every county, has the same ideals for beauty. While you may be the ugliest thing since sliced bread (Yeah, I know I messed that one up.) to one person, to the next person, you could be the best looking thing since sliced bread. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. (Granted, I have found that #1 seems to be true across the board.)

3 – Styles and tastes change. Best stick with the basics.

4 – It’s also best to stay true to who you are. I’m a simple kind of gal when it comes to clothes and make-up. Always have been. (Which, thankfully, is one of the reasons my husband found me attractive. Makes you feel good to be loved for who you are, doesn’t it?) Bold colored skirts and high-heels aren’t going to make me more comfortable and relaxed. And I’m not going to shine my brightest when I’m uncomfortable and feel awkward.

5 – God made us all different. There are things about us that make us, well, us. Sometimes, yes, there are some things that we need to learn to do to make sure that we shine our brightest (Please refer back to point number 1.), but we should celebrate the things that make us unique!

Let me end with this: In college, I had a guy tell a friend of mine that I would actually be pretty if I just learned to wear make-up, do my hair, dress differently, talk differently, walk differently, and act differently. In other words, naturally, I’m ugly. I took a gamble and didn't change anything. A year later, I met the man who is now my husband. And I WAS NOT the prettiest person in the world when I met Ben. Often, Ben would see me in sweat pants, basketball shorts, Velcro shoes I bought at Walmart, no make-up, hair a mess, and baggy, oversized shirts. (Hey, it was college. Sleep is important – helps your brain work more efficiently.) And when he did see me dressed in something other than what I slept in, it was usually simple and functional – nothing that was going to make me win a beauty contest or land me in a fashion magazine. After all of that, Lord have mercy, he asked me on a date! THEN he asked me to MARRY him!! While I didn’t always bum it, I never really dressed to be something that I wasn't. Even my dressier clothes were comfortable and functional. Ben still thought I was beautiful. (Still does) He liked that I usually wore jeans and t-shirts. He liked that I didn’t wear a lot of make-up. Did he always like my clothes choices? No, of course not. (He hated those Velcro shoes!) But he liked the things about me that made me choose how I wore my hair, did my make-up, and what clothes that I wore. In other words, he liked ME. If I had listened to my friend’s opinion, I would have missed out on one of the best gifts of my life!

You’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Blowing the Horn

So, I took a video of Peyton last Sunday. (I would share it, but for some reason it won’t upload from my phone. You’ll just have to use your imagination for this one.)

Upon first watch, it’s no big deal. It’s actually a really funny little video. My child has pieced together what she has learned in her 15 months on earth, is an obedient child and does just what we ask her to do: blow the horn on her car. For Peyton though, “blowing the horn” is JUST like how we taught her to blow her food when it’s too hot. 

It’s funny to watch. I’m really proud of her! No one has really shown her how to blow the car horn and I feel like it’s really smart of her to piece those ideas together. It makes me happy, so I like to watch it on repeat. As I was watching it this morning, about the second go around, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before: the look on her face. Don’t get me wrong, I noticed her face before. This time though… looking into those tired, sick, little eyes… I saw it: The question, the pleading, and she’s looking directly at me:

“Did I do a good job, Mom? Do you think I’m funny and smart? Am I a good girl?”

Crap. Just. Got. Real.

I always knew she was this way about her Daddy, (The obviousness of what she thinks about him is as clear as the beard on his face.) but it never really occurred to me of what she might think of my opinion and approval. I feel so loved, honored, blessed… and more scared than I know how to articulate. This child is looking at me for love, validation, security, etc. And to be quite frank with you, there’s no way that I’m always going to live up to that. There is no way I am always going to be what she needs. There is no way that I am never going to let her down. Humans weren't made for pedestals – they will always fall. It’s really quite scary realizing I’m up here; because it’s not a matter of “if”  I let her down, it’s just a matter of “when." I don’t ever want to be a source of disappointment or hurt for her, but I know that it will happen. My only comfort is to pray incessantly, do the very best I can, and to know that in those times where I will fail miserably, that Jesus will be right there to pick us both back up, patch up our hearts and minds, and will bring us both one step closer to him.

Jesus, help me.

But on Saturday

Most days of the week, you have to be Mommy's big girl. There's no time for sleeping in. There are places we need to be and things we need to do. Most days Mommy's mind is cluttered with to-do lists. Most days we have to learn to eat like a lady, pick up our toys, and walk on our own.

But on Saturday's...

On Saturdays, I sneak in your room and take you to the big bed with me and Daddy.
On Saturdays, we sleep in. We snuggle, we cuddle, we giggle and laugh.
On Saturdays, I cook you breakfast and let you eat in as messy of a way as you want.
On Saturdays, we can dress and act like bums. (...Or princesses, whichever we choose.)
On Saturdays, we can take a bath whenever we want. ... Or not.
On Saturdays, I can hold you till my arms get tired - and then hold you some more.
On Saturdays, you can fall asleep on MY lap. And I will hold you for hours.
On Saturdays, we don't worry. We just relax.
On Saturdays, we run and play - and make a giant-er mess.
On Saturdays, I don't care.
On Saturdays, I try to breathe in the last of that baby smell. It's going away too fast.
On Saturdays, I just enjoy you being mine.

Saturday, don't hurry away. Baby, take your time and dream sweet dreams. I love you baby mine.