As I sit here today, looking at my sweet baby, I realize just how much my life has changed in the last nine days. I think of all of the things that this tiny baby (with little life experience) has taught me in this short period of time. It really amazes me... there is no way that I could ever list it all - but here's a couple of things I've learned:
1. It is entirely possible to live on less than 3 hours of sleep at night... and function half-way decently. Two weeks ago, I would have told you that, for me, less than 10 hours of sleep a night was an evil that was never to be mentioned. I COULDN'T function on less than that unless there was a LOT of coffee involved. And two weeks ago, I would have been right. Now, 3.5 hours of sleep is something to rejoice over.
2. It is also possible to live on cold food. Because for some reason, even when you warm it up in the microwave, it still somehow sits in there until it gets cold again. (Which totally doesn't matter because you're so pre-occupied that you're not even paying attention to what you're shoveling into your mouth at warp speed.)
3. You DO have time to take a shower. It's just that it happens to be the same time that you could spend 'nuggling with your baby... Or staring at her like a crazed lunatic debating on whether or not she's breathing. The few times I have taken a shower, it has been at the gentle urging of those caring folks around me. 'Cause given a couple extra hours, I would be sporting dreads and have enough oil on my face to fry a batch of chicken large enough to feed all of Spartanburg County... and even the baby doesn't want that.
4. They're called BOO-BEES. At one time, talking about or referencing boobs in front of certain people (or having people talk about or reference my boobs) would have been embarrassing and could be vulgar depending on the situation. Now, they only have one purpose: feed the baby. They do weird and fascinating things - and can be quite interesting to talk about. I have amazed myself at how quickly I will whip those suckers out in front of people to make sure my girl gets her belly full. I will never think of them the same way again - and I feel like that's a good thing.
Bonus: Baby knows good and well who has the boobies - and who doesn't. It makes the playing field uneven - but who says I had to play this game fair?
5. You can still be a hypochondriac. It's just pointed in a different direction now. Now, I worry about catching something because I could give it to the baby... or I worry that something could be wrong with the baby and I not notice. (Ben, she has a BOOGER. SHE HAS A BOOGER. She has never had a booger before! Do you think she is getting a cold?! Should I call the pediatrician?! SHE COULD HAVE A FEVER AND NEEDS TO BE HOSPITALIZED!!)
6. Things that you could be chill about with other people's babies - now freak the tar out of you.
Things like: boogers, breathing, sleeping too long, not sleeping long enough, not taking long enough to eat, what her cord stump looks like, giving the baby a bath, taking her temperature, to give a paci or not to give a paci, where she should sleep, etc, etc.
7. They told me I'd love him even more... and I do. Labor and Deliver really showed me how much my husband loves me - and how much I love him. And now I get the bonus of watching my big, burly, grown-up, rough-and-tough man take care of my itty-bitty little girl. I cannot explain the emotions of this. I would love to show the world just how special their relationship is already. Daddy might not have boobies, but she knows who her Daddy is - and no one can calm her down like he can.
8. Just because someone else' baby liked it, doesn't mean that yours will. My nephew and Peyton are about 8 months apart. He liked to be a burrito baby. Naturally, I tried it with her. It took me a few days to realize... but nothing ticks her off more than having her arms pinned down. She WILL have her arms out and up by her face, if it's the last thing she ever does. He loved a swing; she screamed bloody murder in the swing. (But she thinks the glider is awesome!)
9. Big things come in small packages. Ben and I talked about how most infants we knew had these soft little kitten cries and how that couldn't be so bad to have to listen to... We just assumed that she would be the same. Well... we all know what assuming does. We have never met such a little baby with such big, strong lungs. (Or such a big, bad temper!) Kitten cries, my foot. This kid roars like a lion. Just TRY to ignore her. She's scared more than one visitor. Speaking of big things in small packages... this kid is explosive. Anyone want the diaper changing night-shift?
10. Speaking of diapers... people lie. People said that breastfed babies do not have stinky poo. I would like all of those people to come ask my husband about last night - and come change a few of her diapers.
11. No judging allowed. Yeah, my kid has a paci before she's supposed to... what of it? I have come to realize that yes, there are some bad mothers out there who really don't care about their kid. But for the most part, every child is different - and a lot of Moms are just trying to survive.
12. My belly button looks weird. ...and I have stretch marks, a weird tummy-tan, a jelly-like poochy belly with dark lines, and I really think I leak from every part of my body... and I'm not really worried about it. I always thought that I would care more - but I realized that my body just did something amazing and hard! And it needs time to heal. Plus the two people who I love the most don't seem to notice or care that I don't look exactly the same as I did before, so who cares what Hollywood does? I'm going to take my time to heal and worry about it later.
13. My brain is still missing. Granted, maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived and obsessed with this tiny person. I hear that I'll get most of it back one of these days... but some of it will never return.
14. You really cannot take enough pictures. Really, my baby is hilarious. She makes me best faces.
15. There are angels everywhere. Just when you start to lose faith in humanity... there are people who let you take a bath, a nap, bring you food, open the door, carry your car seat, ask how you're doing, supply you with clothes and baby soothing items, remind you how important what you're doing is, tell you that you're doing a great job, and that your baby is beautiful. For these people I will be forever thankful - and you can bet I've prayed blessings upon them all.
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