I love beautiful things. Don’t you? Not many people want to go around looking at ugly things, so I imagine that you, at the very least, appreciate the pretty things in life.
A lot of things in life are beautiful. Today though, we’re
going to narrow down the beautiful spectrum to people – Women, in particular.
I’m a woman, so I feel this is relevant. Also, compared to our male companions,
it’s a bigger deal for us.
I married a man that I think has a
highly attractive face. I like his face a lot. And yes, I checked out his baby
pictures as soon as I could. (He’s been
a stud since day 1.) It comes naturally to him. He just wakes up
appealing. (On a random tangent: I’m a bit of a vain bird,
and I always told my friends that one should never marry a man that she thought
had an ugly face. They always laughed at me. My theory was that looks are, to a
degree, actually important. I figured that body shapes and weight can change over
the years, so you should probably judge attractiveness by the face. After all,
you’re going to have to wake up and look at that face every morning, and
chances are, it’s going to be the last face you look at every night. In which
case, you best like the face you’re looking at. If God decides to bless you
with children, chances are pretty high that their little faces will look a lot
like the face you married. So, you best like the face you married. Whether anyone else in the world thinks so or not, you need to like said face.) It takes
dear husband 10 minutes to get ready for work every morning. On Sunday’s it
takes him 15 minutes to get ready. No one notices if it took him 5 minutes or
if it took him 15 minutes to get ready. The time taken doesn’t make him more or
less attractive. It just means that he wears a nicer shirt and pants. And age
does not affect the attractiveness or the getting-ready-to-see-people routine.
Me, on the other hand…
If I only took 5 minutes, if I only just threw on the
clothes I had picked out for the day, if I just brushed my teeth and headed out
the door… ouch. Within a few minutes of seeing people, someone would ask: “Are
you feeling okay today?” And someone, somewhere, would be whispering: “Bless
her heart.” I have to follow the standards set around me, even if it's at a minimum. Here in the ol’ U.S. of A. (God bless America.) we have
certain ideas of feminine beauty and what we should do and look like before we present ourselves to the world every day. I have always, always, always wanted to be
beautiful, so I attempt so follow the rules. But I keep falling short. My hair wasn’t the right color or texture.
I have freckles. I’m too skinny. (Contrary to popular thinking, no one wants
“skinny” they want Curvy-Yet-Thin.) For years, I have beat myself up about the
fact that even when I tried to follow all of the beauty rules, I just wasn’t pretty. But you know what, while it wasn’t a good thing
to think, it was okay because I didn’t really have anyone following me around,
watching my every move, and copying everything single thing that I do. If I wanted to try too hard, okay. If I wanted to bum it, okay. If I
wanted to just feel bad about myself and talk about how ugly I thought I was, no
biggie. I’m only downing myself and killing my own self esteem. Now-a-days, I
have a miniature person that follows me around. Anything I do, she does.
ANYTHING. And you know what? She looks an awful lot like me. (Granted, I think
she’s the most gorgeous little person to ever walk this planet.) That brown
hair I’ve hated all my life, she has it. Those brown eyes I had always wished
were blue? Yep, she’s got those too. And it’s looking like freckles and being a
skinny Minnie is just going to be a part of the package deal. (Sorry honey, no
curves for you!) I can’t hate my looks anymore. If I hate my looks, then it’s
hating her looks. If I put down my looks, I put down her looks. If I wish I
looked different, then I wish she looked different. If I tell her I look horrible,
I tell her I she looks horrible. For her sake, I’m having to learn to love me.
I think God did it on purpose.
On my journey, I’m learning some things about beauty.
1 – Clean is beautiful.
It really is!
2 – Not every person, not every county, has the same ideals
for beauty. While you may be the ugliest thing since sliced bread (Yeah, I know
I messed that one up.) to one person, to the next person, you could be the best
looking thing since sliced bread. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
(Granted, I have found that #1 seems to be true across the board.)
3 – Styles and tastes change. Best stick with the basics.
4 – It’s also best to stay true to who you are. I’m a simple
kind of gal when it comes to clothes and make-up. Always have been. (Which,
thankfully, is one of the reasons my husband found me attractive. Makes you
feel good to be loved for who you are, doesn’t it?) Bold colored skirts and
high-heels aren’t going to make me more comfortable and relaxed. And I’m not
going to shine my brightest when I’m uncomfortable and feel awkward.
5 – God made us all different. There are things about us
that make us, well, us. Sometimes, yes, there are some things that we need to
learn to do to make sure that we shine our brightest (Please refer back to point number 1.), but we should celebrate
the things that make us unique!
Let me end with this: In college, I had a guy tell a friend of mine that I would actually be pretty if I just learned to wear make-up, do my hair, dress differently, talk differently, walk differently, and act differently. In other words, naturally, I’m ugly. I took a gamble and didn't change anything. A year later, I met the man who is now my husband. And I WAS NOT the prettiest person in the world when I met Ben. Often, Ben would see me in sweat pants, basketball shorts, Velcro shoes I bought at Walmart, no make-up, hair a mess, and baggy, oversized shirts. (Hey, it was college. Sleep is important – helps your brain work more efficiently.) And when he did see me dressed in something other than what I slept in, it was usually simple and functional – nothing that was going to make me win a beauty contest or land me in a fashion magazine. After all of that, Lord have mercy, he asked me on a date! THEN he asked me to MARRY him!! While I didn’t always bum it, I never really dressed to be something that I wasn't. Even my dressier clothes were comfortable and functional. Ben still thought I was beautiful. (Still does) He liked that I usually wore jeans and t-shirts. He liked that I didn’t wear a lot of make-up. Did he always like my clothes choices? No, of course not. (He hated those Velcro shoes!) But he liked the things about me that made me choose how I wore my hair, did my make-up, and what clothes that I wore. In other words, he liked ME. If I had listened to my friend’s opinion, I would have missed out on one of the best gifts of my life!
You’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
